He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
