AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
