So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
