ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize