so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
