2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
