She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
