Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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