my sisters under your porch take her home
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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