i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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