just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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