Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
