Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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