At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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