i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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