We won't sleep together?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
