so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
