Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You don't make any sense
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