What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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