After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
