last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
