Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk

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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(661): View more from California

It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

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(740): View more from Ohio

Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.

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