Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We just shotgunned beers for America
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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