what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
