i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
