He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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