Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
