Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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