Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
