I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
