As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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