oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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