i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
