Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
