1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
