This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
