is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
