all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
