let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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