are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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