I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
