Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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