You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
