I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
