Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
