She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
