Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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