dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
