"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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