Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
