We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
