I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Couch. On fire.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
