tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
