So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize