I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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