No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
