you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
