we have officially mastered the walk of shame
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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