she was so not down for the gang bang
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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