whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
