Taylor Swift is so right about you.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
