He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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